I once dated this guy who unfortunately enjoyed releasing his spunk into socks…MY socks!!!! And it was always my favourite socks too. What he couldn’t use his own damn sock? Oh wait his socks wouldn’t have fit as well as mine because my feet are much smaller…but still…come on!

Then there was the denial that he was doing it. I would find them dried and crustified in the weirdest places…like up in the closet. I’m sorry it wasn’t me creaming in my socks and hiding them so if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t him someone must have been breaking in to have his way with my socks. It’s the only other explanation.

Why couldn’t he just whack off in the shower like most men!?

All I have to say is that’s DISGUSTING but it has made me want to invent ‘Spunk Out’.

Ladies if you find yourself picking up spunked in socks and you have had enough maybe you should purchase your man a ‘cooter-faced sock puppet’  then he can call it his own!!!

And everyone wonders why I always wear odd socks….